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Parent Cafe Notes
By Leah Rosenkrantz and Michael Pastor
This week the Parent Cafe for grades 1 and 2 was held with Michael Pastor and Leah Rosenkrantz. Much of the conversation concerned the social dynamics of the students.
In the last few months changes in friendships and what the children are choosing to play at recess have been noticed. When a shift with whom a child plays arises, sometimes a child can feel excluded. There are children who are sensitive to this and want everyone to be included. Alternatively, we have heard of situations where a classmate may say, "If you don't play with me I won't be your friend." Although this sounds like a threat, it is usually motivated by the child's sense of loss of status with his/her playmate. However, it takes a lot of courage to respond in a constructive way.
We talked about the tools a child can bring to the situation, i.e., "I was playing with Susie. If you'd like to join us that would be great. If you decide not to play with us, I'll still be your friend." Sometimes it is more effective for your child to role play these scenarios at home to hear themselves say these words out loud and be comfortable with them when the moment comes instead of waiting for the situation to arise at school to be the first time the child tries to summon his/her words.
The high energy, physical level of play was another point of discussion. Namely, physical play that looks unsafe is not allowed at school. Parents made the point that this is an important point of collaboration between home and school to insure the children are getting a consistent message.
We also talked about more formal and direct "re-introduction" of the kindergarten motto: “Respect yourself, Respect your friends, Respect your world" to the first and second graders. The Responsive Classroom curriculum was seen as a very important part of the children's day, but perhaps we need to do more direct instruction/reminders about respect including words and behavior that may be hurtful, exclusive and not safe. We also spent time talking about the importance of setting developmentally appropriate and consistent limits; this topic surfaces regularly. Ultimately, participants felt a vital part of the children's success lay in the partnership amongst parents in their grade level and between home and school.
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